A Coup And A Conversation

Five men walked into the Queen’s chamber without warning. The large, heavy, doors closing behind them with a loud bang. Each carried a variety of weapons collected from a number of Slayers over the years. They stopped halfway to the plush and ornate fainting couch the Queen used.

The Queen in question raised her head from the arm of the couch, though didn’t quite sit up. She was small and thin, a foot shorter than any of the men, her dark red hair reached her waist. No guards watched over her though. “Bold of you to enter without so much as a knock,” she said, resting her chin on her hand.

“Bold of you to think we give a damn.”

“Oh. It’s you, Fielding. Is this all the rebellion you could manage?”

“Plenty of support you haughty bitch. Why do you think your guards aren’t here?”

She sat up a little more and looked around, noting the lack of anyone else in the room, then turned back to them and smirked, “I hadn’t noticed.”

“You don’t notice a lot,” one of them said, “But that’s not gonna be our problem anymore.”

“Say hello to your maker for me,” Fielding said, and opened fire.

Automatic guns firing silver bullets roared, shotguns blasted blessed salt, and a crossbow fired bolt after bolt.

In seconds the couch was ruined, full of holes and drenched in blood. The Queen’s body torn apart. An arm and a bit of her face completely missing, with the edges of the wounds glowing and faintly smoking.

Fielding holstered his gun, “Shoulda done that decades ago.”

“Bitch,” one of the others added, hucking a silver knife into her body. They could hear the sizzling.

“I’m gonna enjoy being King,” Fielding said, “Time to finally get this city-” he flinched and swatted at a fly. The man beside him swatted at one as well.

“The fuck did all these come from?” another asked, swatting at what was quickly realized to be a swarm.

“Fielding, Fielding, Fielding,” The Queen’s voice said, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere, “You dumb bastard.” The men readied their weapons again, though with no idea where to point them. “So full of yourself. So convinced of your own ideas. Your own importance. The greatness of your ’brilliant’ ideas.”

Fielding snarled, fangs bared, drew his own shotgun, and fired a blast into the queens body, causing an eruption of flies.

“You can’t see past your own nose,” she continued. “You never bother trying to learn anything new, let alone understand what you THINK you already know. You’ve no consideration or appreciation for anything outside of your little world.”

“The fuck is going on!?” one of his men screamed.

“Just a blood sucking leech. A glorified ghoul. A mosquito I should have swatted years ago.”

While his men were starting to panic, firing off shots and splashing holy water at the insects and now rats that were swarming around them, Fielding kept his eyes fixed on the body that seemed to be writhing with them now. Hatred burned in his eyes, but everything he knew about being a vampire, and everything he’d seen slayers try for nearly a hundred years left him with nothing but impotent rage at this turn of events.

“But do you know what the real difference between you and me is?”

Her body seemed to suddenly melt into blood and shadow, then snapped right to their faces, “I’M A REAL FUCKING VAMPIRE.”

Their screams echoed through the mansion and were paid little regard.

The doors burst open again and the Queen strode into the hall, bloody but otherwise pristine, “Somebody get in here and clean this up before I add to the mess!”

“Did we come at a bad time?”

She turned to see a wrinkled old man hunched over a staff and a red haired young woman, who smiled and gave her a small wave of her fingers.

Her fury instantly dissipated and was replaced with resigned annoyance, “Oh. It’s you.” She turned and walked back in to her audience chamber, “Come in. Watch out for the blood.”

The two followed her in, the old man showed no concern for the mess, while the woman appraised the pooling blood for a moment before, with a twirl of her hand, she pulled it up into a ball and then grimaced, “Oh ew. This is all vampire blood. I was going to bottle it for you but…Eugh” she brushed her hand through the air and the blood was shoved into the corner, leaving most of the floor clean aside from the meat and bones.

“So what as all this about,” the old man asked, pointing his staff at the remains.

“Nothing important,” the queen said with a dismissive wave over her shoulder. She paused for a moment, then sat down on her couch, “Fielding says ‘Hi’, by the way.”

The old man wrinkled his brow, “Who is Fielding?”

She pointed a finger towards the bodies, weaving it through the air before settling on the most mutilated one, “That one. I think.”

He turned his head to look at the body then back to the Queen, “The World is getting pretty interesting.”

She rolled her eyes, and her head, “You say that every couple hundred years.”

“It’s more true now than it ever was. We’re seeing more and more people with greater and greater power.”

“I really don’t care,” the Queen said, collapsing onto her couch.

He banged his staff on the floor, and she flicked a glower his way, “You should care. As much as you prefer to dwell entirely in your own little world, what effects the rest of the world effects you to.”

“You’re one to talk old man. At least I live in the world. You hide away in your cave for so long you lose track of decades.”

He nodded his head, “I concede your point. But when I’m asked for advice or assistance I provide it.”

The old man’s companion scoffed.

He rolled his eyes, “Most of the time.”

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.


The woman tilted her head back and laughed heartily.

“Oh cut me some slack Mira! How often was your own skill insufficient when I declined to assist?”

Mira looked and him coolly, “Less than would have gone much smoother if you had.”

The old man raised his finger and opened his mouth, but then snapped it shut and jabbed his finger at Mira. He turned back to the Queen, “You hear that? How many situations could have been solved easier or faster if you had held an interest in things outside your duties as Queen?”

“Oh yes,” she said, sitting up again, “Because that’s why you gave me these powers. So I could help protect the world. Not because you didn’t know what you were doing and were desperate to make sure I never died again. Ever,”

He banged his staff on the floor, hard. “While I’ve never denied what I did or why I did it, do not forget what it means to be the first in a field. Everything I did back then was experimental. It’s expected for mistakes to be made an assumptions to be wrong.”

“But I’m the one who has to exist because of your mistakes and assumptions.”

His shoulders slumped, “Is it still so much to ask for you to forgive me for saving your life?”

“Except you didn’t,” she snapped, “You gave me a cursed un-life where I have to drain the life from actual living beings or suffer unending, knowing Death will never come for me.”

The other woman stepped in, “Father, let me take over.”

The old man opened his mouth, but didn’t speak. Instead he threw up his hands and stepped to the side.

“Thank you,” she stepped forward with hands clasped, smiling, gave a slight curtsy, sighed and said, “Hi Imma. How’ve you been?”

The Queen looked at her expressionless for a moment, then sat up and cupped her chin in her hands, “Well Mira, some idiots attempted a coup before you got here. Otherwise things have been fine.”

Mire looked at the gore pile. “Ah.”

Turning back to Imma, “I’m glad things are going well otherwise. ‘Heavy is the crown,’ after all.”

“It’s ‘Weary is the head that wears the crown,’ actually,” she said, a smirk forming on her face.

Mira chuckled, “You always manage to know just a little more than me.”

Imma shrugged, “Well I am the Big Sister.”

“Yeah…” Mira shook her head, “The reason we came today is because things are happening faster than ever. We used to see an Alpha every hundred years or so. Maybe every few decades. We have at least FIVE active right now.”

Imma blinked. “That is interesting.”

“Right?” Mira said. “So a few of us on the magical side of things think we might be coming up to something big. Hopefully not on an apocalyptic scale, but we’re trying to cover our options. So all we really want is to know if we come to you and say we need help, if you’ll be willing to at least consider it.”

Imma slumped onto the couch, and lay perfectly still, staring at the ceiling. Her head fell to her shoulder, facing them. “You do remember that even I don’t do so well in the sun, right?”

“We’re aware. We’ve been working on some solutions.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes with her entire head and body, sitting up again, “I can’t promise anything. But if it is something we can do I’ll consider it.”

Mira clapped her hands together, “Excellent. Thank you. We’ll get out of your hair now. And if you ever want to visit for tea just send a message. I’ll be happy to have you any time.”

Imma scoffed and waved them away.

“Have to try,” Mira said. “Come on Father, let’s get out of the way so she can settle things with her subjects.”

Hit Girl Plays – Pokemon Sun: Part 1

Hey everybody! I wanted to try something a little different; a “Character Plays”. So for the next few days or weeks, I’ll be playing the game for an hour or two and recording my progress in Pokemon Sun and posting it here…as Hit Girl. Now I say “Hit Girl” rather than “Mindy” for reasons I’ll explain when it actually starts.
Unfortunately I don’t have any image capturing software, let alone video capture, so you’ll have to settle for text and pictures of a screen, but if these do well I have plans for how to make them loads better. I just have to be convinced the expense will be worth it.

As some of you know, I tried posting this on Facebook already. If you’re one of those people, you also know it didn’t work out so well. So I’m trying it here. Hopefully this will prove to be exactly what I wanted in the first place, and that I’ll find additional ways to make use of this account.

I hope you enjoy.

Oh. And the awesome picture is courtesy of Marx810, who edited the picture together… And whoever actually drew the picture of Hit Girl(Bleedman?).


So, this wasn’t my idea. The rest of Justice Forever is always up my ass about improving my public persona,and engaging the pubic because we need their support, and how it’s fine for Batman to be a dark brooding, mysterious bad ass because he’s fictional, and Let’s Plays are supposed to be a big thing and this game just came out and Kick-Ass thought I’d really like it for some reason so here I am. I’ll be doing one of these once a week, and no, there won’t be any face cam because I’m not going to suit up and everything just to do this.
So, let’s just get started.


Okay…so who’s this asshole? I thought you picked a boy or girl, a starter Pokemon, and then you went out to kick ass and take names?20161120_20323220161120_203244

I guess? Can we just get go-


What is that? Can I get one of those? I want one of those.

I thought she looked like a Chloe so I named her Chloe. Kukui agreed with my awesome taste in names. Now we can finally get star-


Wait. What’s going on?

Who’s this chick and who is chasing her? What’s she got in the bag? Who are these people chasing her?


And we have the title screeen. Okay. I guess that means the game actually starts now.


And I’m playing! Kinda.  I don’t have any pokemon yet. Let’s go get one.


Yes! Let’s go!

And one long conversation about Kahuna’s and whatever later, I’m on my way to get my first pokemon.


What the fuck is a Kahuna?


Hey it’s that girl…


What the fuck is that?! It’s somehow cute and horrifying at the same time..


And now it’s being attacked by birds.


Sure thing. It’s what I do. Well, more like a benefit of what I do. But whatever.


What are you doing!? Don’t just shield it, chase them off! Now who’s going to save your dumb ass?20161120_21080020161120_21080220161120_210806

You son of a bitch..

Dude! This guy’s a fucking badass! Can he be my pokemon? Please let him be my pokemon…


Nope. Like a true superhero, he saved the girl and flew off. He left this stone for me though. I assume it’s important to the plot because I can’t do anything with it.

So I’m supposed to keep Nebby a secret, but Kukui and this guy know about him already. Hala here is the Kahuna of this island, and I have to admit, he does look like a “kahuna”. If you pointed at him and asked me, “Is that a kahuna?” I’d say, “Yes.”

But now I finally get a pokemon!

Black and red really isn’t my thing(I actually prefer green)… but I just like the cat. It’s kinda badass and cute at the same time. Like me. Except I’m SUPER badass.20161120_211416.jpg

They asked me if I wanted to nickname Litten, but everything I thought of was like, a normal cat name. I kinda like Litten as a name anyway.


Flaiming furballs? Eww. This is why I’m a dog person.

Now I’ve got my little fire cat, a pokedex and it’s time to go out and wreck people.

Ah, look. A volunteer.

Hell yeah it is! And it leveled up too.

After the battle Hala started questioning me about Tapu Koko, the pokemon that saved me at the bridge. Apparently it’s the island’s “guardian spirit” and it showing itself to me is kind of a big deal, as is it leaving that stone for me. Hala took it to do something with it for me, and invited me to participate in the festival they have to honor Tapu Koko. So that’s going to happen. And Mom thinks I chose Litten because it was cool OR because it was cute, when it was both. But I guess it’s a little cooler than it is cute so what’s what I told her.

But first I have to be taught how how to catch pokemon. Apparently.20161120_212820.jpg

And my very first, caught-it-myself, pokemon…

but they won’t let me give it the perfect name.

So we’ll settle for this….20161120_213142.jpg

Now, let’s get to that festival.

A cat vs a rat. What’d you think was gonna happen?

Hold on. This girl just referred to the caterpie she sent out into battle as her sister. What is this game?

Whatever. New team member!20161120_214508

This is incredibly unsatisfying. Why am I even battling preschoolers? At least it’s getting me levels…

I CAN PET MY POKEMON!?20161120_215827.jpg

This is fucking adorable! Why didn’t anyone tell me I could do this?!

I’m going to have to kick so many asses to restore my reputation after this. And I’m going to start with Kick-Ass’ for making me do this.

Anyway, time have a battle in honor of Tapu Koko!

Well… that wasn’t difficult but it sure could have gone better. I should probably start leveling up my other team members.

He turned my stone into a bracelet. I’m supposed to use it to bring out some extra power from my pokemon. I need to find a bunch of different stones to make it work though. But whatever.

And they want me to go on “the Island Challenge” to see if I’m like…the chosen one or something? I dunno. But whatever. Go to every island. Beat the challenge. Kick the Kahunas’ ass. Got it.

And again we skip to the next day because why not and we get more dialogue. 20161120_221916.jpg

Stop flirting with my friends, Mom. That’s why Dad left and we had to move here.


Damnit Lillie! Not you too!

Okay. I’m done.

So I’ve been summoned to Kukui’s lab for some reaso-

Ah. This is the real plot though, isn’t it? I’m going to have to defend Lillie and Nebby from an evil organization aren’t I? I am totally down for that.

But let’s get to the lab and finish up this intro so we can actually start playing.


What the hell is this dorpy thing and why do I find it oddly adorable?


“It doesn’t really feel any pain”, huh? Reminds me of someone…

But whatever, welcome to the team Dorpy!



OMG! What is this game!?


…yeah, we can call it that if you want.


Wait. What?



It fucking talks now! What the hell is this game!?

Okay. Since I’m the only one that seems to have any reaction to that I guess we’re just going to move on.

So, Lillie lives here in exchange for being Kukui’s “assistant”.

It’s pretty nice. I’ve seen worse apartments.

Anyway, I think think this is where I’m gonna call it qui- OH MY GOD!


What is this?! It’s fucking adorable! Can I get one?! I want one! I want one now!


Stop teasing me game!

I guess getting one of those will have to wait.